I know I haven't blogged I a while, but I had to get this off my chest. I gotta move to LA or NYC. Preferably L* by 95% I defly will. I mean there's just so much stuff pointing to LA, and tonight was the straw that broke the camels back. Honestly this is my blog so FUCK IT I'm moving to LA as soon as I graduate this is something I have to do and this si something I am so passionate about!

Thank You in
advance
John Freudig

Moodring: Twista ft. Faith Evans- Hope

Lord please give me some HOPE!

Moodring DMX- Lord Give Me A Sign

Thoughts on Feb 9th

WHY?
I know I gon' get threw it cus God is puttin me threw it
My reality is your worst nightmare
Why?
My life keeps getting harder
This will be the hardest 12 months of my life
Please pray for me
I feel so weak
Please be there for me
I'm sorry
Worst choice of my life
Never in a million years did I think I'd be in this situation
I'm a failure
I'm a loser
HELP
I'm just another statistics
What makes me different from everyone else in a harsher situation?
Pray for me

A Loser's Mentality

I'm the loser your the winner
A fallen angel just a sinner
You take the W, Give me the L
Once was on top, but then I fell
Burried at the bottom
With my dreams shotten
All hope rotten
Gone and forgotten
Misery bound
A silent sound
Deafened by the devil
And his proclamations
Weakened by all these
Harmless sensations
Drownin in a bottle
My dreams cast away
Where's the sunshine
Where's the better days
Anxiety flows
In and out my veins
Depression intrudes
While stress remains
Suffered a winners fatality
Now livin with a
Loser's mentality
Where did I go wrong
God hear my song
Hear my prayer
Let me know your there

Mood Ring #4- New Boyz- Tie Me Down ft. Ray J

So this mood ring is not how I feel per say, it's more like how I wish a few of my boys acted... Take a listen!

Man Down!

Yup you guessed it another one of my friends are basically cuffed up. I lost another one on the battle field. This time it's my boy Steve. Steve goes away to school at Buffalo and as of late he's been hooking up with this girl, but apparently know they are really starting to like eachother, and from the looks of it, it doesn't seem like Steve is going to be single too much longer.

This kinda sucks because now that's another one of my boys that wifed up and aint gonna wanna go out and party cus they gonna be with their girls. For example, I went out on Friday and was havin a great time at this party. I was chillin with some girl and we were definitely feeling eachother and it would of been a wrap it if I had a wing man who could of took her friend, its not even like I would be asking my boy to take an L, the other girl was pretty cute too. Bottom line is that now that almost all of my boys are wifed up, its kind of hard for me to even go out and mess around with girls, because my boys can't.

It makes me think, should I get a girlfriend, am I missing out on anything?